Core Scripture: “For the word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires.” (Hebrews 4:12)

Message: I was alone.  Isolated in my aisle.  Stowing package after package.  My headphones on, I had my “Feel Good Mix” playing in hopes that it would pull me from my funk.  It didn’t.  The upbeat music had no effect on the lies that were flooding my mind.

You are such a failure.  Why are you here stowing packages at Amazon when you have a Masters degree?  You are stuck here, and you will NEVER get out. 

I slammed a 40-pound oversized package secure into its spot, wiping the sleep out of my eyes.  It was around 2:30 am.  Still an hour to go before my first break.  I shook my head quickly, trying to get those nasty thoughts out of my mind, returning to the monotony of stowing packages.  It started again.

I am not going away, Clint.  You can try all you want, but I will never leave you.  I will stick to you like tar, and the more you try to escape me, the more I will entangle you in my murky mess. 

Self-talk sometimes sustains me in these moments.  I snagged five jiffy packages (small envelopes), stuffing them in their place one by one, trying to awaken myself from the onslaught of negativity clouding my frustrated mind.

Stop.  Frickin’ stop it, Clint!  You have the choice to what you think about, right?  Get that crap out of your head.  Heck, listen to Katy Perry.  She’s trying to tell you something right now! 

Ah, yes.  Glorious sounds from Katy Perry.  The cheerful opening beat from “Firework” echoed through my earphones.  Katy Perry tried speaking truth to me.

Do you ever feel like a plastic bag
Drifting through the wind
Wanting to start again?
Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin
Like a house of cards
One blow from caving in?

Do you ever feel already buried deep?
Six feet under screams, but no one seems to hear a thing
Do you know that there’s still a chance for you
‘Cause there’s a spark in you

Yeah, this wasn’t doing it for me.  Not today.  As a matter of fact, that negativity crept back in.  This time even more pathetic than before.

Oh, yeah, you’re a firework all right, aren’t you?  Whatever.  You’re that plastic bag, drifting through the wind.  You are a house of cards, already caved in and crashed down.  You’re buried deep!  Beneath packages!  Just listen to that annoying beeping sound.

Yep.  A trio of 30-pound plus oversized monsters crashed into my hamper.  The beeping blue light was flashing, getting louder.  Quicker.  I tried fishing out the largest one when another bertha slammed on top of my thumb.

I am not gonna sugarcoat it.  My language can get somewhat … colorful during the heat of these moments, and I may or may not have allowed an explicative to escape my lips.  I always catch myself, look up to the sky, and whisper, “Sorry, Lord,” with a guilty shrug. 

Shaking my throbbing thumb, I gingerly lay each oversized box on a stow cart, one on top of the other, until they were stacked so tall, I could barely see around it.  It just wasn’t my day.  That voice kept attacking through the next song and the next.  It didn’t matter what song was playing.  The enemy twisted everything his way. 

Ha!  There’s a party in the USA, is there?  The DJ is playing her favorite song, and it makes her feel alright?  Put your hands up, Clint!  The butterflies are gonna fade away!  Nod your head!  Move your hips!

Sarcasm noted.  I refused to nod my head, and you’d never want to see me try to move my hips.  Even with the next song, Shakira’s “Hips Don’t Lie,” my hips were just … tired.  Justin Timberlake’s “Can’t Stop the Feeling” didn’t make me feel better.  The Black Eyed Peas “I Gotta Feeling” left me feeling even worse.

I wasn’t FEELING anything but frustrated, exhausted, and stuck in a rut. 

“Hey, everybody,” my manager’s voice came over the microphone.  “It is break time!  Please go take your break and be back by 3:45 am.”

I shuffled like a zombie, removing my work gloves to see that my thumb had turned three different shades of purple.  The rest of my colleagues looked the same as me.  Defeated and dead.  Being sucked into the break room like a vacuum for 15 minutes of peace.

I considered pulling up Ultimate Golf on my phone.  Nah, not today.  The thought of scrolling a mindless YouTube video made me cringe.  I needed something else, so I snagged my water from the fridge and limped into a room tucked away in the corner of the Amazon warehouse.  The multi-faith room. 

It is serene.  Quiet.  Two comfy chairs sit inside, and hardly anyone else ever uses this room.  I plopped myself down, sipped on my water, and had a heart to heart with God.  Out loud.  Just venting my frustrations of having to work a thankless job that I felt stuck in.  Forever it seemed. 

God listened.  Jesus felt every bit of my pain, empathizing with me.  I told Him how I felt so misunderstood.  He consoled me, saying He felt misunderstood by the Pharisees as well.  I told Him how hard it was.  He reminded me how difficult it was to go to the cross. 

“Yeah, I guess You had it a little tougher than me,” I said sheepishly, allowing the coolness of the water to wet my palate. 

I sighed.  3:41 am.  Four more minutes of bliss before it was back to the grind.  I begged God for something.  Anything to get me through the day.  I lifted the sleeve of my sweat stained T-shirt, finding my cross tattoo with my life verse on it.  Philippians 4:13. 

“I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.”

Whispering it aloud made it seem real to me.  It was one of the first verses I ever put in my heart.  Meditating on its meaning was refreshing.  It didn’t matter whether my stomach was full or empty, whether I was working at Amazon or working my dream job—I could get by not through my own strength but through HIS strength. 

Paul’s words spoke the truth to me that I needed.  Straight from the man who not only wrote that verse over 2000 years ago but also LIVED it out.  It didn’t matter whether he was in a dank prison cell or enjoying fellowship with wealthy believers.  He was content no matter what the circumstance.  Through the power of Jesus Christ that radiated in his soul. 

3:45 am.  I picked myself up, refreshed from my check in with God.  There was a better pep in my step as I gave a few fist bumps to my colleagues along the long walk back to my aisle.  This time I got it right.  Plugging my earbuds back in, I clicked on my “Christian Music Mix” and shuffled the play.  I always do that. 

God always knows the right song to choose.  

My heart melted as Colton Dixon’s “Build a Boat” soothed my aching soul. 

I’ve been wandering through the desert
Ain’t seen a cloud in forever over me
But I believe Your rain is coming,
Yeah, I’ve been hanging onto high hopes
‘Cause You’re the one who’s making dry bones come to life
You’re the light I put my trust in

Every word You say is gonna come true
You will lead me to the promised land
Everything You say is gonna happen
Even though I haven’t seen it yet

I will build a boat in the sand where they say it never rains
I will stand up in faith, I’ll do anything it takes
With Your wind in my sails, Your love never fails or fades
I’ll build a boat in the desert place
And when the flood and the water starts to rise, yeah
I’ll ride the storm ’cause I got You by my side
With Your wind in my sails, Your love never fails or fades
I’ll build a boat, so let it rain

You’re the map, You’re my compass
You help me navigate the currents underneath
Take the lead, I surrender

Every word You say is gonna come true
You will lead me to the promised land
Everything You say is gonna happen
Even though I haven’t seen it yet

I will build a boat in the sand where they say it never rains
I will stand up in faith, I’ll do anything it takes
With Your wind in my sails, Your love never fails or fades
I’ll build a boat in the desert place
And when the flood and the water starts to rise, yeah
I’ll ride the storm ’cause I got You by my side
With Your wind in my sails, Your love never fails or fades
I’ll build a boat, so let it rain
I’ll build a boat, so let it rain

Tears welled in my eyes.  How?  How does He always know?  God knows me better than I know myself.  My dry bones were coming to life.  The desert that surrounded me meant nothing because the omnipotent power of Jesus Christ was more than enough to help me survive. 

I brushed a tear away and smiled softly.  God had my back.  He would get me through this dry season.  I was building my boat in complete faith and trust, putting every hope in Him.  Not in Miley Cyrus.  Certainly not in Shakira or the Black Eyed Peas or Carly Rae Jepsen. 

(Pop quiz, hot shot.  I will give you five seconds to come up with one other Carly Rae Jepsen song besides “Call Me Maybe.”  Yeah, I couldn’t do it either.)

The next two hours flew by.  Empowered by my Christian music and a fresh perspective from the Holy Spirit, I caught myself up pretty quick.  I was no-looking jiffy packages into bins like Mahomes, and I even found the energy to help the poor guy next to me whose hamper was beeping blue like mine was earlier. 

“Thank you!” he smiled at me. 

“I got you,” I told him.

There is something fulfilling about serving others.  I hadn’t even noticed he was there before.  When you allow God into your heart, you see the world from an entirely different perspective. 

I don’t take any credit for what happened the rest of the day.  Just like Micah Tyler’s song “God Did It” sings out, God was getting the glory on this one.  My lunch time from 5:30 to 6:00 am involved a fun conversation with a Christian brother or mine.  I asked him to be my friend on YouVersion. 

The end of the day I enjoyed teaching two new hires how to pick, and after they jetted early, I found myself witnessing to another new hire that God put in my hands to teach bag reset to.  He was 19 years old, a young Christian, greeting me respectfully as “sir,” and our conversation led him to reveal a large tattoo of Jesus on his left leg. 

I showed him my cross tattoo and asked if he would want a Christian mentor.  His dad had taken him to church but had not really been all in for his faith, and the guy seemed like he could use some guidance.  Our work already completed, I got my phone out and friended him on YouVersion. 

“Maybe we could do a plan together sometime?” I asked him.

“Yeah, maybe,” he replied.  “Thank you, sir!”

I left for the door, clocking out at 11:50 am.  Just in time to catch the beginning of the KU basketball game on the radio as I drove home.  I wolfed down a lunch and tried to stay awake through the game.  Probably best that I began nodding off because it wasn’t KU’s day. 

I clicked the game off and literally fell into bed.  Sleep had never felt so sweet.  Even sweeter?  I had three days off to allow my body to recover.  It is now Monday morning, and as I write this, my tennis elbow is still flared up a bit.  Doesn’t matter.  I got Jesus, and He is enough to get me through.  Why? 

Because I can do ALL things through Him.  Mic drop.

Challenge: Put God’s Word in your heart.  Memorize scripture for moments like this when you need it.  Unleash that double-edged sword to fight the enemy.  And if you have the choice of listening to a “Feel Good Mix” or a “Christian Music Mix,” take it from me.  Choose the latter.   

Bible study: Read Acts 16:16-40 and journal about or discuss the following questions …

1. Why were Paul and Silas singing?
2. If you were in prison, would you be singing?
3. Why do you think Paul and Silas did not escape when they had the chance?
4. What would have happened to the prison guard had they escaped?
5. How did Paul and Silas witness to the prison guard?
6. What resulted from their witnessing?
7. When was the last time you witnessed to someone?
8. Who do you currently have a relationship with that you could witness to?

Song application: “Build a Boat” by Colton Dixon

Just for fun: My F3 buddies and I were throwing around old Chuck Norris jokes on Sunday as I led them through some kickboxing moves.  One of the jokes was that Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas to bed.  We had a good laugh over that one, but I am pretty sure Chuck Norris wears Jesus pajamas when he goes to bed. 

Prayer: God, help me chew on scripture all day long, living out Your Word through my actions.  Thank you for Your strength to endure whatever struggle I may be going through.  Amen.