Core Scripture: “Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.” (James 1:19)

Message: It happened 81 years ago yesterday.  You may know the story.  Watch the first 15 minutes of Saving Private Ryan, and you will get a spot on visual.  Approximately 160,000 men put their lives on the line, and 2501 died. 

It was D-Day. 

I read a book about a D-Day survivor a few months ago.  Those memories, which still haunted him to the day he wrote the book decades later, never escaped his mind.  He described the carnage, the screams, the fear, the adrenaline … everything. 

I wondered why he didn’t go into as much detail as I anticipated.  Then it hit me.  Those memories are not necessarily something you want to relive.  Why would he want to go into detail about it?  To get out the details that he did expose was probably hard enough! 

When I think of D-Day, a few questions come to mind.  Why all the hate?  What would make a soldier want to storm the beach and kill the enemy?  Did they ever seek to understand the other side?  Were there ever moments of compassion expressed toward enemies?  Was there any other way this conflict could have been resolved?  Without so much bloodshed?  In a more Christlike way?

Search the Word, and you will find some nuggets on how to handle conflict.  Ecclesiastes 3:3 states there is, “A time to kill and a time to heal.  A time to tear down and a time to build up.”  It continues in verse 8 to say, “A time to love and a time to hate.  A time for war and a time for peace.”  It likewise talks about fighting the good fight in 1 Timothy 6:12, and we know God wants us to defend our faith as well.

The defense could not be stated clearer than 1 Peter 3:15 where it says, “But sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence.”  Can you live in that moment?  Can you stand up for your faith the right way?  What IS the right way?

Two words stick out: gentleness and reverence.  You don’t want to shove it down someone’s throat.  You do it the way Christ would have done it.  You act out James 1:19, being quick to listen.  Slow to speak.  Slow to get angry.  How does our world handle this with social media?

Oh dear!  When I see the hate and negativity that plagues social media platforms, I cringe.  That might be why I stay away from Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok.  The hard part is when you want to live out 1 Peter 3:15 to defend your faith, but you want to do it with “gentleness and reverence.”  That moment came for me the other day.

As my followers may know, I participate in a men’s workout group known as F3.  The first F stands for Fitness.  The second F is Fellowship.  And the third F is Faith.  All three F’s are supposed to be weighed evenly, but the originator of F3 put Fitness as the first F for a reason.  He says fitness is why the workouts happen in the first place.

Here is my problem with this philosophy.  Yes, working out is good, but my faith is more important to me.  My first F is and always will be my FAITH.  Otherwise, idolatry can begin to creep in.  Most of the men in my group are gifted in one or two of the three F’s and need encouragement in another.  For me, I struggle with the fitness part while faith and fellowship come more naturally.

With another F3 brother of mine whom I have alluded to before in previous blogs—we will keep his name anonymous—the man is quite abrasive to faith.  He defines faith in terms of pushing other men through a workout, not Christianity.  And he does so in a manner that embraces the military background that he lived in his past life.  When he leads a workout, he will run it the same way a drill sergeant would.  Not necessarily my cup of tea.

We have a bit of a history.  The guy is very outspoken.  VERY outspoken.  He comes across as arrogant at times, and he would probably admit it, too.  He once called me out for modifying a workout, and previously he had criticized me for opting to ruck walk with friends as opposed to enduring his beatdown workouts. 

I am a words of appreciation guy.  Those words sliced at my heart, leaving scars he doesn’t seem to understand.  I tried messaging him these thoughts once, and all the guy did was defend his stance in F3’s mission statement: leave no man behind, but leave no man where you found him.  He wants to push me.  And he blatantly said he was not going to stop doing that. 

I admire the man for his fitness.  He can do burpees and pushups with the best of them.  He excels at the first F, does fairly well with the second F, but his third F in terms of the faith I know is lacking.  It has been on my heart to witness to him, and believe it or not, God provided an opportunity to share my faith.

The problem is I fell into a trap that I hope you don’t fall into yourselves. 

Communication on social media, texting, and email is a part of our society; however, there are times when conversations need to be had in person.  Tone can be misunderstood.  A sarcastic comment can come across as literal.  And many times, assumptions can be made about the intent of what is being written.

Last week I posted some ideas to our F3 social media platform, Slack, to enrich the third F: Faith.  My F3 brother shot down one of my ideas, and he did so in a blunt, confrontational way that made me feel belittled.  Silly me, I got sucked in.  I replied to his post, and he replied to my post, and I replied a third time back to his post.  By the end of the Slack showdown, neither one of us budged in our beliefs.

I messed up!  This conversation should NOT have taken place over Slack.  It should have been done in person, and it made me look prideful in my thoughts.  I know something good will come out of this.  Another F3 brother direct messaged me and told me he appreciated me standing up for my faith.  Others replied favorably to the post as well.  I have a feeling God is calling me to lead a new group of men here. 

But I was humbled this morning in my men’s Bible study.  We are taking on the Sermon on the Mount, and our discussion revolved around Matthew 5:43-48.  Loving your enemies.  Verse 43 convicted me.  The direction is so clear: PRAY FOR YOUR ENEMIES!  Not once had I prayed for this man’s heart.  And after all our debate over Slack, I doubt his heart was softened one iota towards the gospel at all.

Lucky for me, another F3 brother of mine is part of that Bible study.  James, God bless you!  His suggestion was so easy, too.  I need to invite him for an extra credit ruck walk before or after one of our workouts.  That would not only provide a face-to-face meeting, but it would give me the opportunity to ask him questions about his story, meeting him on his turf. 

Do I want to do this?  Not necessarily.  He is the type of guy I do not invest in as a friend.  But I wonder … would getting to know him on a more intimate level change my thoughts about him?  Would our relationship grow?  Would I have the opportunity to share my story with him?  Could I make him curious about my faith in the loving way I treat him?

Dang, I already know the answers to all these questions! 

Please pray for me.  Pray for wisdom on how I can live out Christian principles with my F3 brothers, especially my friend who challenged me.  Pray that I will plant seeds in this guy’s head and that we can meet up for a ruck walk.  Most of all, pray that I can humble myself, shoving pride aside, and let him know my heart for Christ through my actions. 

Bringing it full circle, it is a given fact that D-Day was a bloodbath.  The slaughter seen that day will only be fully known by those who were there.  Do you know where else slaughter occurs?  With our words.  Read James 3:1-12 and you will see.  It can all be summed up here …

“But a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire.  And among all the parts of the body, the tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body. It can set your whole life on fire, for it is set on fire by hell itself.” (James 3:5-6)

Time to extinguish that fire and start a new fire.  A fire that bleeds the passion of my Savior.  A fire that may ignite something new in my friend’s heart.  I will never know unless I try.

Stay tuned!

Challenge: Who would you say your enemy is?  Have you prayed for them yet?

Bible study: Read James 3:1-12 and journal about or discuss the following questions …

1. Why should teachers in the church hold themselves to a higher standard by holding their tongues?
2. Can we control our tongues or not?  Which scriptures help you control your tongue?
3. Does more good or bad come out of your mouth?
4. What triggers your anger and frustration?  How do you handle this?
5. How can we live out James 1:19, the core scripture above?

Song application: “Start a Fire” by Unspoken

Start a fire in my soul
Fan the flame and make it grow
So there’s no doubt or denying
Let it burn so brightly
That everyone around can see
That it’s You, that it’s You that we need
Start a fire in me

Just for fun: My teenage boys are still sleeping.  It is currently 9:45 am.  I have already done my quiet time, sent an in depth email to a friend, had breakfast, done my men’s Bible study, and finished writing this blog.  My wife is grocery shopping.  Her text to me was straight and to the point: wake the boys up, and get them started on their chores.  NO SCREEN TIME UNTIL CHORES ARE DONE!  I just hid their devices.  Guess where?  On the bookshelf in the office.  A place they don’t visit enough!  Sorry, but you can’t take the Language Arts teacher out of me. 

Prayer: Father, I am a sinner, and I know that sometimes my words frustrate you.  Help my words be honest, encouraging, and uplifting to others, and help me realize face-to-face conversations need to take place over digital ones sometimes.  Amen.