(The crucifixion has finally come.  We wear cross necklaces as if they are a sweet decoration, but this hideous scene was anything but sweet.  When you are nailed to the cross, the words you speak must be carefully chosen.  Asphyxiation will suck the life right out of you.  Criminals were on display naked for all to see.  It was the ultimate form of embarrassment.  Imagine splinters digging into your back.  Imagine fighting for every breath.  Imagine a long, slow, excruciatingly painful death.  Not so sweet anymore, is it?  There was one Roman soldier who oversaw it all.  This is what I imagine might be going through his head.)

Yes, I was the one in charge of the crucifixion of the King of the Jews.  When a Roman soldier gets his orders, he follows them.  I had no choice. 

The first time I heard of Him, He was healing people.  His legend spread like wildfire.  He claimed to be the Son of God, which I thought to be quite preposterous. 

People said he fed 5000 with a mere five loaves of bread and two fish.  Some said He walked on water.  He supposedly calmed a storm and even breathed life back into one of his friends.  Some guy named Lazarus.  None of this I saw, and none of it I believed.

Until now.

I assigned my most brutal soldiers to carry out His crucifixion.  Let’s just say they performed their task brilliantly.  I laughed as they gambled for His clothes, throwing dice and jeering up at Him. 

Many called for Him to save Himself, but He did not answer to that.  I saw Him speaking on the cross but could not make out His words.  When I asked one of my soldiers, he told me Jesus prayed for us. 

“Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.”  (Luke 23:34)

What man does this?  Who prays for their enemies?  I was completely confused. 

The wind soon began to swirl, and the skies blacked as dark as the night itself.  An icy chill crept up my spine.  It was the most mysterious scene I had ever witnessed.  Jesus was dying.  I rode my horse up to Him.  He fought for every breath He took.

It was the longest three hours of my life.  Minutes passed like hours.  Years.  My heart was ripped open for this man, and a few of His followers nearby were weeping bitterly.  Their pain somehow became my pain.  I looked up at Him as He was passing on some final words to those who loved Him.

Blood dripped down from His wounds.  He looked like He was garnering one last breath to say something profound.  Jesus raised Himself up and called out, “My God, My God why have you abandoned me?” (Mark 15:34)  

There was much confusion.  Some said He was calling for the prophet Elijah.  Jesus was offered sour wine to dull His pain.  It was held up to him on a sponge attached to the end of a reed stick.  He refused to drink it.  It was as if He was giving up.

He let out another loud cry, but I could not hear the words over all the commotion.  Someone said He yelled out, “It is finished.” (John 19:30) 

Jesus breathed His last.  His head dropped to the side, and at that very moment, the curtain in the sanctuary of the Temple was ripped in two.  I was speechless.

It was as if my heart was torn in two at the exact same time.  What had we done?  This was no ordinary man!  He was truly the son of God!  And we had killed Him!

Time seemed to stop.  The sky was a black blanket of storm clouds.  My horse bucked as if even it knew what we had done.  Pilate couldn’t believe Jesus was already dead.  He sent for me, asking if it was really true, and I confirmed. 

Jesus was gone.

A man named Joseph of Arimathea came to get His body.  Most everyone had left at that point.  Joseph was an honored member of the high council.  A tear slid down my cheek as I watched Joseph take the broken body down from the cross. 

I am not a man of tears.  I have killed so many through my tenure as a soldier that I am numb to death.  This was the first time I ever felt something like sorrow.  I am unsure what to do with that feeling. 

Maybe I will explore it.

Bible study: Read Mark 15:22-41 and journal about or discuss the following questions …

1. The soldiers gambled for Jesus’ clothes.  Do you think any of them realized the significance of what they were trying to win?  After seeing the entire scene, do you think the winner of the clothes would seek out more truth about Jesus?
2. How do you think it felt for Jesus to be verbally assaulted on the cross?  Why does He continue remaining silent about these false accusations?  What do you make of what Jesus chooses to say? 
3. Other gospels record Jesus talking more from the cross.  What do these comments reveal about Jesus’ character?  Why do you think the gospels differ in what Jesus says?  How would you explain this to a non-believer who says there are too many different versions of what Jesus said to be held true?
4. Why do you think the Roman officer believed Jesus was the Son of God?
5. Why were Jesus’ followers watching from a distance?  Where would you have stood if you were there?

Video application: Dr. David Acuna gives a doctor’s perspective about the crucifixion of Jesus.  I watch this every Easter.  It never fails to blow my mind.  My challenge is to not just watch this video but to answer the question at the end.

Take it home: When I think of this Roman soldier, I think of regrets I have in my life.  No, I have never killed the Son of God, but I have sinned.  I am so far from perfect, but that man, Jesus Christ, He took my sin on the cross and wiped me clean.  For that I am forever grateful and always in His debt. 

Reflect on that thought.  Read the following scripture and allow God’s words to marinate in your heart. 

• “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8)
• “For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 6:23)
• “Come now, let’s settle this,” says the Lord. “Though your sins are like scarlet, I will make them as white as snow. Though they are red like crimson, I will make them as white as wool.” (Isaiah 1:18)

Prayer: Lord, I am so far from perfect.  Thank you so much for what Jesus did for me at the cross so I can live in peace with You.  Amen.