Core Scripture: “Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble.” (Proverbs 21:23)

Message: A new tradition has sprung up amongst my friends at Amazon.  For the past month, we have chosen a local venue to eat lunch at following our shift.  We went from Golden Corral to China Buffet to IHOP and then back to China Buffet. 

Can you tell we like buffets?  I mean, IHOP is basically a buffet as well with their insane portion sizes!

Yesterday our group increased to six Amazonians.  Word is spreading!  We enjoyed conversation and of course tore up China Buffet in the process.  It became a safe place to let our guards down, share some laughs, and vent a few frustrations. 

I remained quiet most of the meal but was soaking in the conversation and enjoying time with my friends, chiming in here and there.  With a few new faces in our lunch bunch, conversation turned a bit gossipy.  It is almost as if you are allowed to talk about whomever you want if they are not there.

I wonder if others ever talk about me.  If they do, what would they say?  I am sure there would be a temptation to poke fun at the Patrick Mahomes wig I have been wearing the last few weeks during the Chiefs playoff run.  And know what?  I will be wearing that wig proud on Monday if the Chiefs take care of business!

Back to lunch bunch …

I kept my mouth shut for the most part, listening to a few pet peeves of colleagues and managers.  Nothing too drastic.  Just your normal I hate it when so-and-so does this comments.  It brought a few laughs.  I chose not to chime in, but my laughter endorsed the conversations. 

What do you do in those circumstances?  Do you contribute to the gossip?  Do you laugh?  Do you try to one up the person talking by venting your own frustration?  Or do you change the topic?  Do you say something nice about the person?  Are you bold enough to take a stand against gossip in a loving way?

I wish I had spoken up.  I certainly could have.  I am a bit older than the core of the group, and they more than likely would have respected my seniority and wisdom.  But I played it safe.  I kept quiet.  And I even contributed to it as I drove a few of my friends home.  Kinda sad.

What do you do?

Here are a few suggestions to help combat gossip that I would like to share …

1. Change the topic.  Don’t make it totally awkward.  Conversations can flow differently if you guide them.  For example, if someone says, “Can you believe what she wore last week?” a way to redirect that conversation might be to say, “I liked her Chiefs shirt.  So, do you guys think they are going to win the Super Bowl?” 
2. Say something positive.  If someone is talked about in a negative light, say something kind about them.  I did this many times as a teacher with students.  If a colleague complained about someone, I would say something like, “Well, on a positive note, they turned in their homework for me yesterday.” 
3. Set up ground rules.  I would like to do this with our lunch bunch next week.  I want to sit down with my friends, pray for our meal, and encourage the group to be positive in our discussions.  Maybe we could even come up with some rules for conversations together. 
4. Pray.  Man, this should be a no brainer, right?  How often do you pray for your words to reflect goodness and positivity?  How often do you go to God, asking Him to keep watch over the door of your lips?  As I pray for our meal next week with our group, I know I will include specific references to this.
5. Leave the situation.  You may be in a situation where you are heavily outnumbered, and it might be best to just leave.  This removes you from the conversation and temptation to contribute.  I actually did this last week at work when the lunch conversation got a bit raunchy.  With conferences coming up, sometimes that is the best option if you find yourself enjoying time with colleagues at the local sports bar afterwards.

Remember, the goal is to take a stance for what is good and pure and positive.  Be kind with your words.  As Jesus tells us in Matthew 5:16, “In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father.”  Be that beacon of light this week.

Challenge: Take a stance against gossip in your classroom.  If students start to let their lips slip, redirect them in a loving way.  Pick a few of the ideas above, and try them out this week.  Let me know how they worked for you, and if you have a different idea on how to combat gossip, feel free to share a reply below.

Bible study: Journal about or discuss any of the following scripture …

• “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” (Ephesians 4:29)
• “There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers.” (Proverbs 6:16-19)
• “If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless.” (James 1:26)
• “Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets; therefore do not associate with a simple babbler.” (Proverbs 20:19)
• “I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak.” (Matthew 12:36)

Prayer points: Lift up the following areas to the Lord …

• Praise God for the opportunities He gives us to model positive, encouraging speech.
• Pray that the Holy Spirit will direct your speech, keeping watch over the door of your mouth.
• Pray that you can take a stance against gossip.

Just for fun: My family has discovered that we all enjoy watching The Middle, a sitcom that aired from 2009 to 2018.  We rented Season 1 from the library and began watching it this week.  As we laughed at the antics of the cast, I realized my oldest son is Axl Heck in real life!  Case in point …

• They both parade shirtless around the house in boxers.
• They both spend time making sure they look the part before going out into public.
• They both have that strong-willed personality that challenges mom and dad.
• They both are a bit messy.  Okay, a LOT messy!
• They both enjoy teasing younger siblings. 

Prayer: Lord, may the words of my mouth be pleasing to you.  Help me take a stand against hurtful gossip.  Amen!