Core Scriptures:

• Discipline: “For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.” (Hebrews 12:11)

• Grace: “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32)

Message: It was over.  Finito.  I had had enough, and action needed to be taken.  After multiple redirects all week, he had boiled my patience dry.  I walked over to his desk and crouched next to him.

“Alright, we are going to have to call home,” I said in a polite yet firm tone.  “I am going to give you a choice.  Do you want me to call your mom or your dad?”

Like a deflated balloon, his head sunk, buried into folded arms on his desk. 

“Noooooo,” he moaned. 

I wanted to give grace.  I wanted to forgive him.  But without a consequence, he knew my words were just empty threats.  He needed discipline.   

“I will ask you again … mom or dad?”

Nothing.  He just lay there hiding in his arms.

“Alright, I guess I will make the decision for you,” I said, leaving him to think on his own.

After school that day, I called his dad.  Afterall, dad wanted to follow up with me after conferences in February, and we had not made the opportunity to connect.  Sadly, dad’s voicemail box was full. 

On to plan B.  I called his mom.

She picked up after two rings, sounding stressed out.  Commotion of a crying baby and other little ones flooded the background noise.  There was no time for chit chat, so I went straight to the heart of the issue. 

“Thanks for letting me know,” she said in defeat.  “I hate getting these calls, but I will be sure to tell his dad.  He is celebrating his birthday with me this weekend and with dad next weekend.”

I knew it was a split family, but the thought was still a jolt hearing it from mom.  We hung up.  What a way to start the weekend. 

Fast forward to Monday.  The kid said he was grounded but still got to celebrate his birthday.  I told him I was looking forward to him having a better week.  And I said that last week was old news and that I forgave him.  He seemed hopeful.

It wasn’t a complete turnaround.  But there was a shift.  A definite change.  Instead of being the instigator, he was telling others to be quiet.  He asked to move to the hallway to concentrate.  He still blurted out, but you could tell he was at least trying.

By Thursday the kid began to take a turn for the worse.  I hadn’t affirmed him at all that things were going better, and I found myself again crouching at his desk.

“You know, I was thinking about how you have been doing better this week.  That Trojan of the Week award would be fun to give to you,” I smiled across at him.  “But you have to earn it.  I don’t want to just give it to you.”

New hope injected into his soul, he calmed it down.  He actually finished the hour strong.  Not perfect, but better.  MUCH better than the week before. 

He found me Friday morning, asking, “Mr. Daniels!  Am I going to be Trojan of the Week today?” 

“I don’t know,” I said, eyebrows raised.  “We still have all day to make that choice.”

“Aw, come on!  It’s my birthday today!” he declared proudly.

I had already given him the award on my slide that was going to be displayed for all to see.  But hey, why not dangle that carrot to eek out one more day of good behavior?

Fast forward to Trojan Time.  The last hour of the day.  He pops into my room like a lightning bolt.

“Am I going to be Trojan of the Week?”

I chuckled and teased him, saying, “Do you think I would actually give it to you of all people?”

“But I did better this week!” he laughed back. 

Class started, we went through the opening directions, and then came the moment.  It was time to award Trojan of the Week!

“It’s gonna be me!” he declared.

All his buddies agreed, shouting their approval. 

I milked it for all it was worth.  “And the Trojan of the Week is ………  come on, give me that drumroll!”

The whole class thumped their hands on their desks in unison, a rhythmic, unified sound, rumbling like thunder.  I let it linger an extra second before clicking on the computer to reveal his name. 

You would have thought he won the Super Bowl!  Celebration ensued.  He danced around the room, giving a few high fives.  I smiled and wanted the moment to last.  His joy was my joy.  Our joy.  These are the moments you live for as a teacher.

An idea sprung into my head.

“How about we celebrate this moment with a picture?” I suggested.  “Come on, guys!  Hold him up!” 

Five of his buddies hoisted him in the air.  They were all doing some weird face together.  Probably a TikTok thing or something, but they did it together.  As one. 

I snapped the picture, capturing the moment forever. 

“Did I get your good side?” I asked, showing him the picture.  “Hey, how about we text this out to your mom and dad?” 

What kid would say no to that?  Both mom and dad replied to me within minutes, thanking me for the update.  No better way to start the birthday celebration.

I wish I could attach that picture here, but I can’t.  Too many kids to ask permission for.  No, that picture is for me.  To remember the power a teacher has to find the right balance between discipline and grace.  This time of year, both are needed. 

Summary tips: I almost feel like the Cliffs Notes of the above story might be useful.  Let’s give it a shot …

• Discipline is best received through one-on-one conversations, crouching next to a kid’s desk, talking in a non-aggressive manner.  Calling kids out in front of their friends will come back to bite you.
• Empty threats beg kids to test you.  If you say you are going to call home, follow through.
• There is a time for discipline and there is a time for grace.  Trust the Holy Spirit in finding the right one to use at the right time.
• Reward kids with prizes at the right time.  Don’t just give them an award out of pity.  Kids a lot of times can see through the authenticity of that.
• Communicate with parents the good, the bad, and the ugly.  I hated making that phone call, but it had to happen.  And the kid turned it around enough for me to text mom and dad the following week. 
• Take pictures of magical moments.  Share them with your students and students’ parents.  And when the year is over, immortalize them in a scrapbook.

Questions: Journal about or discuss the following questions …

1. When is the right time for grace and discipline?  How do you know which to choose?
2. How do the core scriptures above apply to this lesson?
3. What other scriptures come to mind after reading this story?

Christian teacher Zoom: I will be on a 45-minute Zoom this coming Tuesday night, April 16 at 7:00 pm along with other Christian teachers.  Please join us to connect, share stories, and pray for one another.  The link is below:

Christian Educators Connect KC – Zoom – Tuesday, April 16, 2024, 7:00 PM

KC CE Zoom Link

Meeting ID: 814 6098 9966

Passcode: KC-CE

Prayer points: Lift up the following areas to the Lord …

• Praise God for the moments He allows discipline to set students straight.
• Praise God for the model of grace seen in Jesus Christ.
• Pray for the wisdom to know when to show grace and when to discipline. 

Just for fun: I am watching the Masters golf tournament right now while writing this.  What if their commentators spent a day at my school?  I could write an entire blog about that.  Here are some comments you might hear:

• “Yes, the Monster Energy Drink is certain to add a bit of flavor to the young lad.  Especially considering first hour hasn’t even started.”
• “As these 6^th graders leave lunch, it almost looks like they are racing each other down the hall.  Parkouring off the walls.  Fast walking.  You gotta love the sheer enthusiasm.”
• “So, we are pulling this teacher aside.  Mr. Daniels, I noticed you somehow held your bladder for the entire afternoon.  I guess my question is … HOW?”
• “She has not received a perfect score all year, but she has turned in her quiz, and she looked confident.  The teacher has it now.  No marks on the front.  No … marks on the … back … YES, SIR!!!  Perfection!!!” 
• “This is the kid’s third trip to the hallway.  First it was the nurse.  Then the bathroom.  Now the nurse again?  Slightly concerning considering we are still in 2^nd hour.”

Prayer: Father, thank you for guiding me to make the right choices throughout my day.  Help me find the balance between discipline and grace.  Amen.