Core Scripture: “Judge not, that you be not judged.” (Matthew 7:1)

Message: I was teaching Friday morning.  My students were playing a Gimkit, an educational video game.  It always brings out competitiveness in kids, and many times they start chirping.  One boy said something about dying in his sleep. 

“Let’s not be too extreme,” I said back. 

The comment was innocent enough but needed to be corrected.  A few minutes later a girl asked to be able to move to the hallway with a friend.  I hadn’t noticed yet, but there was her friend standing next to her, plain as day, with tears welling in her puffy eyes. 

Thank the Lord for friends.  For GOOD friends!  I allowed the girls to slip out to the hallway and checked in on them.  Another girl had joined them, and they were both hugging their sad buddy.

“I tell you what,” I smiled down at them.  “You are lucky to have such caring friends.”

One of them looked up at me and said that the kid who talked about dying in his sleep brought it all back.  The memories of her sweet little sister dying of cancer plagued her.  She is approaching the one-year anniversary.  And suddenly the last thing that matters to that kid is finishing a silly Gimkit in class.  

That is what trauma does.  It consumes you.  It ensnares you in side effects like concentration problems, irritability, and causes flashbacks like I just described above.  Sometimes it makes you react impulsively, and you feel like you are on high alert 24/7. 

I cannot begin to think about what it would be like to lose a little sister to cancer.  I do give this girl a little extra grace having known about her situation.  Sometimes it is a quick trip to the water fountain.  Other days it warrants a pass to the counselor.  Whatever the case, I have no right to judge her. 

I remember her walking in the first week of school.  She always looked so sad and depressed, and it led me to pull her aside.  She couldn’t talk about it, but one of her friends was quick to go to bat for her, explaining everything to me after class ended.  My heart sank.  She was just doing the best she could.

It got me thinking.  What if there were other kids in my classes with trauma?  Could I as a teacher get upset at a kid who misses an assignment and expresses irritability?  If I don’t take the time to get to know my students and their idiosyncrasies, what makes them tick, I could easily fall into that category. 

So many of these kids try to mask their trauma.  It won’t come out until they feel comfortable sharing.  Then as I read through journals, I will hear stories that make my jaw drop.  Like the young man I taught years ago whose father smashed a beer bottle over the boy’s mother’s head.  He hadn’t seen his dad since that day.  He and mom left and never looked back. 

As I see different signs of trauma, I try to hold my tongue.  I try to be “quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry” (James 1:19).  I don’t allow these kids to get away with everything.  If they are taking away from the learning of others, I will redirect them in a positive, encouraging way. 

Another one of my students has these signs daily.  He was quick to tell me he doesn’t want to expose anything about his bio family.  I found out he is adopted now, but before that … man, he doesn’t even want to think about it.  And why would he?  To dig up all that trauma, exposing old wounds?  That could be painful. 

In the meantime, it is all about being patient with these kids.  They are in all our classes, and the love we show them is essential to their growth.  Stand up for them.  Write them an encouraging note.  Create a warm, safe environment where they feel comfortable.  You never know how much that will mean to a kid. 

I found that out for myself Thursday morning.  I was about to leave for my 7:30 am supervision duty in the gym when a girl entered my room.  Something was off.  I knew it.  She knew it.  Her body language and the tender, aching look on her face … it was all too telling.

“What’s up kiddo?” I greeted her.  “What brings you in today?”

“Being in this room makes me happy,” she said.

Good enough for me.  We talked for a few minutes, and she just let it all out.  Her feelings were so scattered, all over the place.  I just listened.  Sometimes that is all they want.  Someone to listen. 

Be the teacher that creates that welcoming environment.  Listen, encourage, display patience, and pray that God’s gentle hand would guide these precious children.     

Challenge: Be delicate in how you handle students who have experienced trauma.  Invest time in making them feel safe, take time to listen, and be patient with their misbehavior. 

Bible study: Read Matthew 5:24-34 and journal or discuss the following questions:

1. What trauma would the bleeding woman have experienced for 12 years?
2. How would that trauma affect her life and desperation for Jesus?
3. How was faith a part of this woman’s healing?

Prayer points: Lift up the following areas to the Lord …

• Praise God for the opportunities He gives us to encourage our kids who experience trauma.
• Pray for wisdom on how to guide and help these children.
• Pray for patience, encouragement, and love to prevail. 

Just for fun: Have you ever had a kid with uncontrollable hiccups?  I did.  Today to be exact.  I sent her to get a drink.  No dice.  It got worse.  She finally stopped after a few violent hiccups that shook her side of the room.  Maybe we should have tried to scare her.  Or do that trick of holding your breath and seeing how close your fingers can get without touching.

Prayer: Father, watch over our students that have dealt with trauma in their lives.  Help us be understanding as we guide and teach them.  Amen.